The Importance of Third Places
In the late eighties and early nineties one of the most popular shows on American television was Cheers, set in a sport’s bar, in the heart of the city of Boston. One of the most popular scenes took place in every episode when one particular “regular” would bust through the front door of the bar and everyone would shout his name in unison, “NORM!” The tag line for the show was, “Where everybody knows your name.”
The environment within Cheers provides a perfect picture of a cultural phenomenon referred to as a “Third Place.” Sociologist Ray Oldenburg coined the phrase Third Place in his 1989 book The Great Good Place. The extended subtitle of the book says it all, Cafes, Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Bars, Hair Salons and Other Hangouts at the Heart of a Community.” Community Centers, Beauty Parlors, General Stores, Bars, Hangouts and How They Get You Through the Day.”
But what exactly is a Third Place? According to Oldenburg the first place is our home and the people with whom we live. The second place is where we work and the place we spend the majority of our waking hours. A Third Place is a public setting that hosts regular, voluntary, and informal gatherings of people. It is a place to relax and have the opportunity to know and be known by others. It is a place people like to “hang out.”
Oldenburg identifies eight characteristics that Third Places share:
Neutral Ground. People are free to come and go as they please. There are no time requirements or invitations needed. Much of our lives in first places and second places are structured, but not so in Third Places.
Act as a Leveler. People from all walks of life gather in Third Places. There are no social or economic status barriers.
Conversation is the Main Activity. The talk is lively, stimulating, colorful, and engaging.
Assessable and Accommodating. They tend to be conveniently located, often within walking distance of one’s home.
There are Regulars. It is easy to recognize that many patrons are regulars at the establishment. But unlike other places, newcomers are welcomed into the group.
Low Profile. As a physical structure, they are typically plain and unimpressive in appearance.
Mood is Playful. With food, drink, games, and conversation present, the mood is light and playful. The mood encourages people to stay longer and to come back repeatedly.
A Home Away from Home. At their core they are places where people feel at home. They feel like they belong there, and typically have a sense of ownership.[i]
Why is it so important for Christ followers to understand the concept of Third Places? Because the vast majority of people in the United States are living isolated, relationally impoverished lives. And Third Places offer an opportunity for missionally minded people to do life in proximity to others.
In the book Bowling Alone, author Robert Putnam details the massive decline in social capital, which refers to the value of social relations and the networks of those relationships within a community. The title of the book comes from the fact that while the number of people who bowl has increased in the last twenty years, the number of people who bowl in leagues has actually decreased. When people bowl alone, they obviously do not participate in the social interaction and community discussions that occur in a league environment.
Putnam illustrates the declining trends in social capital in a number of other areas. He writes on the drop-off in civic participation in organizations like the PTA and Lion’s Club. He then moves to discuss the decrease in workplace connections, political involvement, religious participation, and simple informal relational connections. In one very telling example he writes on the rise of card games in post-World War II America.
Although poker and gin rummy were popular, the biggest boom was in bridge, a four-handed game that had become extremely popular by the 1950s. By 1958, according to the most modest estimate, thirty-five million Americans – nearly one-third of all adults—were bridge players. Millions of Americans, both men and women, belonged to regular card clubs—in fact, one of the earliest scientific surveys of social involvement found that in 1961 nearly one in every five adults was a member of a regular foursome. In dorms and student unions of the 1960s and 1970s hundreds of thousands of college students spent millions of nights in seemingly endless games of bridge. The primary attraction of bridge and other card games was that they were highly social patterns. “Mixed doubles” clubs were, in that more gendered world, one of the most important sites for men and women to gather informally. The rules encouraged conversation about topics other than the game itself, since “table talk” about the state of play was generally frowned on.[ii]
Let that sink in for a moment. Just a few decades ago, once a week, one-third of the families in America would spend the evening at the home of another family to play games and visit. Today, while there are substitutes for card games, everything from computer and video games, to unlimited television choices, the reality is that they are usually engaged alone.
Oldenburg also speaks to the issue of isolation, when specifically highlighting the disastrous design of suburban living.
Most residential areas built since World War II have been designed to protect people from community rather than connect them to it. Virtually all means of meeting and getting to know one’s neighbors have been eliminated. An electronically operated garage door out front and a privacy fence out back afford near-total protection from those who, in former days, would have been neighbors.[iii]
The deterioration of social connections in our communities should drive us to action. As followers of Jesus we know that we were created as relational beings. We know that God designed us to be in a deep, abiding relationship with him. But we also understand that we were created to be in life-giving relationships with one another. The idea of millions of lonely people sitting at home, dying relationally from the lack of basic human connections should inspire us to bring about change. But what are we to do? Let me suggest three things in regard to Third Places.
Identify and Enter Third Places.
We must take the time to identify where the Third Places are in our setting. Where do people gather to spend time with others? Where are the coffee houses, cafes, pubs and other hangouts? But in addition to the typical Third Places as described by Oldenburg, what are some “atypical” places where people congregate? Think of places such as libraries, parks, farmer’s markets, workout centers, etc. We may need to “think outside the box” when identifying where people gather. But once identified we must seek ways to engage those places. As discussed in lesson two, this will involve embedding our lives incarnationally into Third Places, listening and learning where God is at work, and asking how we can participate in what God is doing.
Create Environments for Third Places to Flourish.
This may mean that we take the huge step to actually open a coffee shop or bookstore in our neighborhood. Perhaps plant a community garden that creates opportunities for people to work together. Or maybe it simply means we create space in our own yard for neighborhood kids to play and spend time together. Brad’s family keeps an extra refrigerator in the garage, filled with juice bags and popsicles. The refreshments provide a great “break area” between all kinds of games that regularly take place in the side yard of their property. Don’t forget, as discussed in the last lesson on hospitality that our homes may provide a sort of Third Place for our neighbors. Again, we need to be creative in the way we think about common space in our neighborhoods, and how they may enhance relational connections.
Support and Defend Third Places.
This may sound unusual, but in some cases we may need to become urban/suburban-planning advocates. As already mentioned, we understand the importance of relationships, for the health and vitality of our communities. Therefore, when there are plans proposed for such things as parks, sidewalks, walking paths, libraries, and anything else that would enhance the opportunity for a richer public life, we need to support such plans.
Our engagement with Third Places should first flow out of our desire to see those who are relationally disconnected, become drawn into life-giving relationships with others, and of course ultimately with the giver of life. But secondly, it should flow out the recognition that as an increasing number of people are less interested in the activities of the church; it is we, as the missionary people of God, who have to engage others on common ground, or Third Places.
READING REFLECTION: IDENTIFYING THIRD PLACES
1. Where do you recognize a sense of isolation or loneliness in your neighborhood? Do you yourself experience feelings of isolation from your neighbors? How does the Gospel, the good news of the Kingdom, address the issue of isolation?
2. Do you believe the sense of community is increasing or decreasing in your neighborhood? Why?
3. What are the easily identified Third Places in your neighborhood? Describe them.
4. Are there “atypical” Third Places that you can identify in your neighborhood? Describe them.
5. How might you go about entering into some of the Third Places that you mentioned?
This is an excerpt from the book titled “Next Door As It Is In Heaven” by Lance Ford and Brad Brisco
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[i] Ray Oldenburg, The Great Good Place: Cafes, Coffee Shops, Community Centers, Beauty Parlors, General Stores, Bars, Hangouts and How They Get You Through the Day. New York: NY.: Paragon House, 1998, p. 22-42.
[ii] Robert D. Putnam, Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community. New York: NY.: Simon & Schuster, 2000, p. 103.
[iii] Ray Oldenburg, Our Vanishing “Third Places”, Planning Commissioners Journal, Number 25, Winter 1996-97, p. 6.
